Weight gain, money woes, the usual . . .

Saw my primary physician (pp) yesterday and when I got on the scale I gasped. I am officially 20 pounds heavier than what I was a year ago  . . . fascinating. . . crazy thing is that I can still fit my jeans, it’s a good thing they’re stretch jeans. It’s also nice that my big clothes fit again and a belt is no longer needed . . . sighs. In the past 2 weeks I have gained 6.5 pounds, crazy right?!? I have either been an eating machine or hold intense water weight. . . I’m sick of it. Would like to eat well and not be big as an elephant.   However, with the colonoscopy next month, I’ll probably lose those 6.5 pounds, so that’s something to look forward to  . . the little joys in my life!!

My hip and lower back are starting to ache again. I told my PP about it  and stated it’s probably because I’m completely out of shape, but she took it a little too seriously and immediately gave me a referral for physical therapy. . . “bitch please!” was the look I gave her. How dumb is it to walk into physical therapy pain-free. The pain is not like the hip injury I had a year ago when it was painful to walk, It’s just aches here and there. When I got home I trashed the referral, because the one thing I’ve learned this year is that Health Care is a freaking business! Most of you are probably thinking, “Well duh!” lol but I have truly seen the game and tricks doctors play from my many doctor visits this year. It’s like going to a car dealership where there is a problem everywhere! I was actually at the dealership today and the one repair that I’ve putting off might have to be replaced sooner than later.

I was so proud of myself earlier today, finally paying of medical expenses and reducing my credit card debt, it was such a feeling of relief. I went to the car dealership this morning for regular maintenance and they tell me this needs to be done, blah blah . . . a total cost of $1400 . . . bitch please! I walked out only paying around $250 the bare minerals.  But the repair that cost the most needs to be replaced like yesterday. It sucks my commute to work is horrid and I have to drive my car (which might not be the safest now). I plan to go to Jiffy Lube right after work tomorrow, so I will no longer be paranoid but unfortunately hike up the credit card debt again. My little Corolla just hit 90K and all hell is breaking loose. . . it sucks because this was supposed to be the year I would start saving for a new car. That all changed when I was diagnosed with IBD plus a hospital stay. I’m pretty sure I’ve paid at least $3K (thank god for  health insurance) this year in medical expenses, but I can’t complain. It would’ve been a lot worst with multiple hospital stays and even surgery(s) . I guess this year has been easy as a crohnie  . . .

So is this my life now? Always worrying about money which causes stress, which causes a flare up, which could lead to a hospital stay and expensive medical procedures?  Is this the routine of my life?  I just realized prior to Halloween, I don’t recall the last time i did something social, like a party or just being around a lot of people, it’s embarrassing to say in the last year of my 20’s . . . but this year has REALLY sucked! And now with my car woes. . . it just keeps pouring . . .

I’m really tired  . . .

I wish Money Trees were real . . . .

money tree

I spent $34 on a gel manicure, and it was the BEST thing ever! It is the first time in a while that I spent money on something that made me smile. I didn’t realize how I denied myself the very simple pleasures in life. I would LOVE to go shopping! I WANT shoes . . . but, I NEED money to pay for my prescriptions, co-pays, and lab work.  I’ll estimate that my medical expenses cost a couple hundred a month.  I refuse to calculate the actual number, just thinking about it makes me anxious.

My snail mail for the past few months consist of a few coupons and medical bills. I receive some type of medical bill almost every two weeks this year, it’s exhausting. The crazy thing is that these expenses are just “maintenance”, maintaining my new life. No major medical procedures . . thank God!

Unfortunately, having IBD is not my only medical concern. I also have cavities! A year ago, cavities would have not been a big deal, but paying for fillings in addition to everything else, is just a another struggle.

Getting that gel manicure started a virus, I have since gotten my hair done and scheduled a massage lol. Believe it or not these “superficial” things make me feel better, and overall that is the goal 😉