IBD is annoying . . . .

I have missed doing the things i love, like writing for this blog . . . Past few months have been annoying! I refuse to say hard because overall i’m living a good life and is now grateful i’m healthy again . . “now” is the keyword.

Last time I chatted with you I was going in for a colonoscopy because the bleeding, stomach pains, and frequent trips to the bathroom came back with revenge. The results of the colonoscopy showed I had proctitis which is an inflammation of the lining of the rectum. So I was immediately prescribed Canasa which didn’t work at all. I got so sick i took 3 days off of work and was on a gatorade, chicken broth diet. After another visit to my GI’s office they put me on Cortifoam as a temporary solution until  . . .  .dun dun dun!! . . they put me back on Humira! Sighs .  . . as I sit slumped in a corner feeling defeated. 😦

Humira has been my saving grace in the past and I hope it works again this time around but reality is beginning to set for me . . . will I have to be dependent on medications for the rest of life with this disease ?!? Almost three years in and it’s still hard for me to accept, I just cannot grasp that this will be lifelong . . . wow . . . it’s such a defeating feeling. Prior to getting sick I took the initiative to be more healthy. I signed up for a gym membership, got a personal trainer so I can exercise safely this time around, then I got really sick. When I was diagnosed in 2014 it was too after I was physically active, I was diagnosed 4 months after doing my first Mud Run obstacle course, I was in the best shape of life. Could this be a trigger? Can’t be right? Another topic for another day.

I have officially started Humira, completed the horrible 4 injections starter pack  2 weeks ago and starting to wean off the cortifoam which was my 2nd saving grace. I’ll take cortifoam any day over prednisone. I’m back at the gym, PT sessions are over and I have now become a gym rat, at the gym like 4 days a week, cray cray! But I’m proud of myself! I overcame a flare to going back to doing something I enjoy. Now just need to get rid of this job (which is the main reason why I’m in the gym 4 days a week, another post for another day).

As always, I remain hopeful and taking one day at a time.

Well it was nice while it lasted . . . :(

Eh . . . Remission was fun while it lasted, or maybe I’m jumping the gun! I’ll know for sure on Tuesday, have an endoscopy and colonoscopy scheduled . . .  sighs

Bleeding and having bloody stools has been consistent for the past month so I finally forced myself to go see my GI, I really hope it’s just hemorrhoids but after falling asleep on my couch for the 3rd night in a row. . . . yeah it’s something.  When I saw my GI he was quick to suggest I get back on Prednisone and I just wasn’t having it by my childish response “Do I have to!!”  He suggested we look inside before he puts me back on meds. I’m really trying to lose weight because it’s just been out of control lately and going back on steroids will not help. I’m at my heaviest weight ever and to many that know me I still look skinny, but for me It’s not about being skinny, it’s about being healthy and if I can’t fit my clothes lol   I’ve always said when I can’t fit my clothes is when I’ll start to care about my weight, well I can’t fit my clothes now and too broke to go shopping. I’ve been so sick, stressed, and busy this year my body is like nope! I think it’s time to make lifestyle changes and make big moves because my life has been the same for the past couple of years and I’m not getting any healthier.

I’ve see many others in my life get married, have kids, new relationships and friendships and my life has been stagnant. The only continuous surprise is my illness, never know when it wants to come back and ruin all my plans like usual . . . . but that’s because I allow it, my goal is to avoid doing that this time. Outside of my IBD I’m still working on me. Been at my new apartment for almost 4 months now and I love it! Still at the same job, hopefully for not too much longer. I just feel like our director just ruined a good thing, before he started we had a well oiled machine he decided to throw a wrench at it and leave it broken . . . and I’m literally sick of putting out fires. I think the stress is the reason why I started to flare up, non-profit jobs are fun on the surface but just soooo unorganized and stressful. Just joined a gym and signed up for a personal trainer . . . I’m very stubborn so I feel sorry for him lol but it’s something different and hopefully he holds me accountable. I’ve created a meetup for fellow health bloggers in my area, we’re 3 strong at the moment but the goal is to network with people with a similar passion and see what happens, and in a weird way it will be cool to be surrounded by fellow chronic illness folks *shrugs* .  I’ve tried support groups and always left feeling worst, going to try something different this time around. Lastly, gonna try to get a PMP certification, I hate taking any forms of a test with a passion but If I can pass this, I think it will be a life changer. Since I’m single with no kids I’m trying to spoil myself as much as I can with all this “Me” time .

As always remaining hopeful and taking one day at time.

New Year New Beginnings? . . .

Happy New Year! Another year and another colonoscopy. . . For a 2nd year in a row no inflammation was found in my colon nor rectum. My colon looked so good my new GI wants to take me off my last medication of Humira. . . Holy Crap lol In a way i’m not really excited, is that weird? It took a good 2 years to adapt to this new lifestyle of being chronically ill. Going from barely taking multi-vitamins to up to 14 pills a day and being admitted to the hospital, deep depression, side effects of steroid use . . . to let’s take you off everything . .wowzer

I guess my fear is relapsing if i’m taken off all medications. I had a little flare-up this year hence the reason why I had another colonoscopy. But to be completely off is kind of scary. I have heard how the disease can go dormant for periods of time, I read one woman had  a flare up after 20 years of no symptoms, this disease is something else.

I’m still awaiting the results of my biopsy but I don’t expect anything, think it was taken as a precaution. I need to be grateful and enjoy this moment. I am finally healthy again mentally and physically, starting to look for a new job, new place, recently connected with family members (ancestry DNA test is amazing!), 2017 might be a good year after all . . . we shall see!

 

Follow-up with my GI . . .

I saw my GI this week and it was awkward, which I expected after the stern message I sent a few weeks ago. It was like seeing your ex or being in a room with someone you had a big fight with. It was awkward lol . . . I wasn’t happy to see him, and he seemed a little timid, very unusual for him. I laugh now, but was highly annoyed in the moment. We discussed again my symptoms and how he believes Humira will be my saving grace. Since I started Humira a month ago, it’s too early to tell if it’s working but to check my progress he would like to schedule a Flex Sigmoidoscopy. I believe it’s the same procedure I had in the hospital this past April, not a full colonoscopy but enough to get up in there! lol I have it scheduled for December 10th and I will not be sedated, should be interesting.  I plan to work from home that day, so as long as I can make it home safely. . . In the hospital I was given an enema an hour prior to the procedure. It was the most horrible experience of my life!! Looking at the prep for this procedure, it states “one to three hours before appointment, take one fleet enema” . . . . umm  who’s going to do that?!?!?  Once again I left with more questions than answers, looking for a 2nd opinion . . . .