Humira . . . ouch!! :(

As you can tell I’ve been very moody this week ūüėČ Life has been busy and to some blogging on a Friday night might seem lame, but it feels wonderful to just lay in bed, sooo tired.

On Sunday I had my first Humira injections and for those of you who are familiar, the first dosage is 4 injections, I did two in each thigh. Luckily, I had a nurse to help me because there was no way I would’ve been successful solo. It was an unpleasant experience . . . I wasn’t expecting the stinging sensation.  I have a high tolerance for pain (like many IBDers) but when the nurse told me to count to 10, I couldn’t . . my mouth was agape and I said loudly, “I was not expecting that!” The nurse chuckled, I was literally speechless and in pain, but I was able to give myself the remaining three injections under the nurse’s supervision.

To basically “stab” yourself in the legs and feel the meds slowly enter your system was not pleasant at all. After the nurse left, I got a little emotional thinking how am I going to do this? But I’ve been told you get used to the feeling, get used to the pain, which is something I have many years of experience doing. What freaked me out the most was seeing a little blood when I removed the injection from my leg . . . but it is a needle . .

Is it normal to not feel one of your legs right after? lol That happened to me. And the one thing I noticed this week at work is that I’ve gone to pee like 5-10 times a day lately. . . . that’s different, i’ll mention it to my GI . . .

New stage in treatment . . .

Holy Crap! You know you’re sick when you have your personal hazardous materials disposal container.

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I am learning to accept that IBD is no joke . . I might look “great” (as I’ve been told by¬†many) but inside my body is literally attacking itself. Lately I’ve been eating everything in sight with no bloating or¬†abdominal pain which is awesome!, BUT the bleeding is persistent and getting worst, and the fatigue has been no joke. ¬†For the past 4 weeks, I have fallen¬†asleep in my work clothes at least twice a week. Now, as soon as I get¬†home I¬†immediately put on my pjs. I sound like an old person!! Not fair!!

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Insurance has approved my Humira prescription for the next two years and my starter kit arrived the other night. To sound even more old, I’ve scheduled an RN home visit for my first injection. . I’m nervous but desperate for anything to make me feel better.

Life is precious. . .

Last week I went to my great aunt’s funeral. She was terminally ill and bedridden for the last¬†ten¬†years of her life. After surviving a stroke, she¬†could no longer¬†speak and eventually lost her battle with cancer. It was hard for me to visit her because growing up she was such a boisterous woman and to see her so fragile, it saddened my heart. I believe that the last 10-15 years of her life would have been more pleasant if she received proper care/treatment, but insurance is a bitch. After her stroke, once her insurance no longer covered physical therapy she stopped going. When she started chemo for cancer, her body could not handle it, so she stopped treatment. ¬†She was suffering for a long time and like many of my family members, we were sad but relieved that she was no longer in pain. ¬†At the funeral, one of my cousins spoke about the last conversation she had with our aunt before she became terminally ill. ¬†My aunt told her, “if you don’t feel well, get yourself checked out, don’t ignore it.”

Those were some powerful words. You¬†have to take care of yourself. I know having Crohn’s will always be a battle, but my goal is to live the most comfortable life as possible. I am grateful for the insurance I have and even though my GI drives me crazy, I am grateful that I have been seeking some type of treatment. There are different treatments for IBD, and¬†standard drugs (Aminosalicylates¬†&¬†Corticosteroids)¬†is my first choice. Has it worked so far? No, but hopefully biologics will work *fingers crossed* You can only live one day at a time, trying not to stress thinking about the future.

Remaining hopeful.