I hate winter . . .

I’m a summer baby and love warm weather, and love it even more as I get older because it never causes hazardous conditions. Ever since I got into my accident I refuse to drive when there is any possibility of icy roads even when it comes to my health. I ran out of my Apriso pills yesterday and had every intention to refill the prescription but oh golly gee, I actually had a date for Valentine’s day, and it lasted longer than I expected, which was a good thing (will discuss in more detail in a later post). But sucked because the pharmacy closes early on Sundays, and its been snowing all day. As a result I have felt more tired in the past day, but i think it’s mostly due to my hectic, stressful lifestyle lately. Conference at my job finally ended and I can’t even relax, why is that?!? . . I’m still trying to figure that out myself. And I’m moving exactly a week from today and haven’t packed, I just have too much going on and no energy. As I continue to lay in my bed, and dreading going to work tomorrow, I’m reflecting on my recent lifestyle choices. I have been mentally and physically exhausted for the past two months, how much longer can I keep this up?

Life is already difficult, adding a chronic illness to it . . . just sucks

 

Life is precious. . .

Last week I went to my great aunt’s funeral. She was terminally ill and bedridden for the last ten years of her life. After surviving a stroke, she could no longer speak and eventually lost her battle with cancer. It was hard for me to visit her because growing up she was such a boisterous woman and to see her so fragile, it saddened my heart. I believe that the last 10-15 years of her life would have been more pleasant if she received proper care/treatment, but insurance is a bitch. After her stroke, once her insurance no longer covered physical therapy she stopped going. When she started chemo for cancer, her body could not handle it, so she stopped treatment.  She was suffering for a long time and like many of my family members, we were sad but relieved that she was no longer in pain.  At the funeral, one of my cousins spoke about the last conversation she had with our aunt before she became terminally ill.  My aunt told her, “if you don’t feel well, get yourself checked out, don’t ignore it.”

Those were some powerful words. You have to take care of yourself. I know having Crohn’s will always be a battle, but my goal is to live the most comfortable life as possible. I am grateful for the insurance I have and even though my GI drives me crazy, I am grateful that I have been seeking some type of treatment. There are different treatments for IBD, and standard drugs (Aminosalicylates & Corticosteroids) is my first choice. Has it worked so far? No, but hopefully biologics will work *fingers crossed* You can only live one day at a time, trying not to stress thinking about the future.

Remaining hopeful.