Living in NOVA

For those of you that live outside of the DMV (DC, MD, VA) area NOVA (northern Virginia) has a reputation for having horrible traffic and drivers. I have been living in NOVA for 6 months and I have become that horrible driver. The main reason why there are so many accidents is because people have NO patience. As I sat at a red light waiting to turn weeks ago, I rolled my eyes to the loud honking behind me from the woman in the minivan. Then yesterday, when I had the green light to turn at the same traffic light, a car from the opposing traffic decided to turn too, so I slammed on my car horn. The entire drive to work I was mad and stressed and by the time I left work I was exhausted and preparing myself for the rush hour traffic. Then once I finally got home I had to deal with the noise of my neighbor’s squeaky door and Ms. Godzilla that lives above me. However, for some reason lately, at 10pm I get this sudden burst of energy and can’t sleep until 1am. I wake up exhausted the next day and do it all over again . .

Now let’s add an autoimmune disease to this daily routine. For four days straight I had all day headaches, thank god it stopped. I was definitely considering the ER. When I finally did go to sleep, I fell asleep in my work clothes, and routinely woke up to wash my face/brush my teeth 2am in the morning. In addition to the severe fatigue and headaches, I have also experienced acne, dehydration, and  chapped lips, so I asked my doctor to get blood work done. I think  I might be really anemic. It’s sad when you look forward to blood work so you can figure out what the hell is going on. I’m really tired . .. . I worked out for the first time in months last weekend, my body is still recovering, feels like I ran a marathon.

I have also noticed lately, I have no patience and lack of sympathy for anyone. No longer feel sorry for my neighbor upstairs, I’m sick of her apologizing for the loud noise when she keeps doing it, ready to move! A few weeks ago when I was 2 hours late to work because I could not physically get out of bed, I finally told my boss I have Crohn’s and how a late morning like today might routinely happened, I was surprised how nervous I was. He took it very well and revealed to me he has diabetes.  This week we conductedinterviews for a new staff member and I noticed my boss profusily sweating during the interview. It was sooo bad he had a wash cloth in his pocket to wipe his face every couple of minutes, and stated he does not know why he’s sweating because he’s freezing.  Afterwards he stated he believes it was a bad reaction to  new meds. As he left work early for like the 2nd day in the row I was mad, there are many days I wanted to leave early for not feeling well. . . I was surprised at the frustration I felt at a man that is clearly sick and needs medical attention

I need a break  . .. .

Sabotage

When you discover you have a Chronic Illness (CI) it invades your life and takes over! “Sooo   .  .  . starting today no more pizza, caffeine, gluten, soy, and in addition to this new diet, take about 10 pills a day . . . and forget about that vacation because all your money is mine!! Thank you!” CI says with a smile and a wink while it sashays away. “That bitch!” was my initial response as I sat in a hospital bed after my first colonoscopy.

Your chronic illness can sabotage your life and be your biggest bully. You think if I can conquer this  I can take on anything, which is true. . . But I’m curious to how people with a chronic illness deal with the nasty people you encounter in life. People will be people.

The last couple of months I have worked so hard at my job that I allowed it to take over my life. Somehow I have been able to get up everyday and fight through severe fatigue, body aches, and fits of dizziness and nausea, by working 9-10 hours days because I care. Then someone recently approached me at this job and stated “Krystal be careful, watch your back, they’re waiting for you to make a mistake ” . . . . Um excuse me! I have not devoted all this time and the little energy I have for my work ethic to be questioned because someone has it out to get me. Soo they can keep watching . . .

Do you ever get emotional? Like why am I being treated this way? Why must my livelihood, my way of paying for medications be possibly jeopardized? Have you wondered that if those nasty people knew I was chronically ill, would I be treated differently, would they feel horrible for their actions?  However, if revealing my illness is the only way I can be treated with respect, then this is not the place for me.

I recently turned 30 and I have realized that I am exhausted with dealing  with the same drama . . .  I still don’t know what I want to do in life but now I know what I DON’T want.

As always remaining hopeful and taking one day at a time.

100 followers!!


Wow!! Thank you guys for all the support! I started this blog last year as a coping mechanism, a  way of dealing with this major lifestyle change of having IBD. I started writing not knowing what I was talking about, but just documenting my daily struggles. 

Thanks to all of you for joining me on this journey and the continued support.

Thank you! 😘

It’s been a while . . .

It’s been a while since I’ve written . . . its been a while since i’ve done anything for me. My life for the past few weeks has been devoted to sleeping, paying bills, and work. . . such a drag. When I do go out I’m completely exhausted.

I wish I could say, “At least I’m healthy!” . . . . . .but my immune system is no good! In the past 2 months I have had a case of food poisoning, UTI, and recently my 3rd cold of this year. I have never been so sick, so often. So what’s the deal?

I think it’s the Humira. The bleeding has not been present for about 2 months now, but I’m steady getting sick and my hair is thinning out.  I’ve lost all my prednisone weight but due to stress I sometimes forget to eat and forget to take my meds. Yes I will admit it! I have been slacking in taking my meds, instead of 4 apriso pills a day i’ve been taking 1-3 pills, because I tend to fall asleep or genuinely forget. It’s odd . . .

Hips and knees starting to hurt, but my skin is beautiful, my body looks great, and I feel like im 50 years old. . . . so crazy!

As always I remain hopeful, taking one day at a time!

 

Lost a fight with onion rings . . .

So I know eating fried food is never a good decision when you have IBD, but whenever I visit my mother she never has safe food for me to eat and I was too broke to buy anything. Late in the evening I was still hungry and didn’t think the frozen Nathan’s onion rings that I’ve had before would hurt, I was soo wrong. After 20 minutes  my stomach was sooo tight and I felt so nauseous. Then the stomach cramps started, I felt miserable for a good 2 hours. Exactly a week later I had my first experience with food posioning.

Now as I sit waiting to see my GI for a follow up and realizing I’ve been on Humira for 7 months and still have symptoms, I’m starting to wonder will anything work? 

A year ago . . .

I just realized exactly a year ago today I was in the hospital. Around this time last year was the evening of my 4th day in the hospital. I was hoping and wishing to be discharged soon. Lucky for me I was discharged the next day . . and haven’t been back since thank God! *fingers crossed*

A year ago I was afraid to eat and didn’t see anything wrong with not eating for a day or two. Not eating meant no pain, no 10-20 trips to the bathroom, I felt normal when I didn’t eat. . . scary thought right? But when you have Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) your life is the opposite of normal.

2016 is the first year I did not make any New Year’s Resolutions.  2015 was such a low for me I could not imagine life being any better, had to accept that I will live with this illness for the rest of my life . . .sucks! But today, I am not in a hospital bed!  Gotta enjoy the good days! So what has improved and what needs improvement since last April:

  • Health – Improved. I think my mini flare is going away, feel better than I did a month ago.
  • Professional life – eh Improved? . .. I’m in a better situation  than where I was last year . . don’t have to worry about people stabbing me in the back , kinda nice lol
  • Living situation- Improved. Much better, still waiting on my couch to arrive . . lol
  • Social life – Needs improvement. First step is not to make it last on my list. 2nd, get over my social anxiety,  3rd,  find a hobby,  and 4th, make new friends.

I was so frustrated last week that I was in tears, called my grandmother and she said “This too shall pass” . . . “Last year you were so sick and in the hospital and you got through it, you are a lot stronger than you think you are, remember that”  . . . thank you Grandma 🙂

umm it’s too cold . .

At my current job the air has always been an issue. Since last July I have had to wear a fleece in the office in order to stay warm. But the past few months have been ridiculous. For some odd reason, when it was 40 degrees outside a couple of weeks ago, the AC was on in our office. Why is the AC on in March ?!?!? I remember heading outside and realizing the our office was slightly warmer. As a result everyone in my office has been sick at least once. Even my former boss who thought she had just “allergies” discovered it was actually pneumonia, freaking pneumonia?!?!? which is like death to me. .. of course I freaked out because I wasn’t feeling well. Had an appointment with my GI shortly after I found out and discovered I was walking around with a fever?!?!

A week after all this drama it was still freezing cold in the office. I was wearing  a blouse , sweater, and a scarf and I was still cold, and experiencing my 2nd cold in 6 weeks. At my desk all I could hear was people sneezing and coughing, then I looked at the dirty carpet thinking when was the last time they vacuumed? Ummm this office is dirty . . . hence the reason why we’re all getting sick, ummmm. . . . I can’t get sick, i have an autoimmune disease, I’m taking drugs to lower my immune system. I stood up, tighten the scarf around my neck and walked to the front desk to complain how cold it was and asked for the office supplies catalog, I’m going to order a space heater. .

Surprisingly there were space heaters in the catalog and I thought, “no harm in asking”, when I walked into my boss’ office. Why should I buy one? I can’t use it in my  apartment, it is stated in my lease space heaters are not allowed and the office was not a safe environment for my health. Even if my boss rejected the order, they better fix the air or I would certainly get a doctor’s note.

Talked to my boss about it, he said “sure, I’m freezing too!”. I was like wow thanks buddy! So I ordered the space heater with my supervisor’s approval but it took over a week to get to me?  Come to find out through the grapevine, it was rejected and my boss nor myself was notified. Umm wtf?!? Like I totally get if it was rejected because of a safety hazard but no notification and then it magically appears?!?

By the time my space heater arrived the air was miraculously fixed, haven’t worn a extra sweater in days . . . hmmm . . You’re welcome 😉