I am so sick of seeing white walls . . . the walls of my doctors’ offices, walls of my pharmacy, walls of my job. I’m so sick of paying for co-pays, prescription re-fills, and medical bills. I’m so sick of medical assistants with bad attitudes, I’m just done lately.
I went to see my primary physician the other day and she also wants me to get blood work done. My doctors are like vampires . . . this disease is like a vampire, sucking the life out of me. I’ll admit, I have allowed this condition to “stop” my life. I try to travel somewhere at least once a year, but a vacation is not even on my radar right now. Because when I think of a vacation the following things come to mind in this order:
- I can’t afford it or it’s not smart right now to make a big purchase because who knows what my condition will be like 3 months from now.
- Will I have enough medication to take on the trip? What if I forget or lose my meds?
- What do I eat?
- Will I have access to a bathroom if I’m having a flare-up
- Fears of a long flight/bus ride. Probably won’t eat anything prior to be safe.
- Oh and have fun!
In the past, having fun was never last.
The one thing that stood out for me during my doctor appointment was when the medical assistant asked if I was depressed? After a long pause, I responded. . . .
Maybe I am?